If there’s one piece of me I could tune down from an 11 to a 4, it’s my inner critic. It’s loud, impossible to ignore, and it makes perfect sense in the moment. My inner critic is like that noise your smoke detector makes when the battery is low, but maybe 100 times louder. It chirps incessantly every 30 seconds, and you can’t ignore it. It’ll keep going until you change the battery. And, if your house is anything like mine, there’s never a 9-volt battery in sight! So, that rhythmic, annoying chirping? Yeah, that’s my inner critic. Can you relate? I bet you can
Sadly, that inner critic voice doesn’t go away with a battery change. Wouldn’t it be great if it did?
Story Time
I was recently in Portland for a gathering of Certified Body Trust Specialists. It was one of those perfect fall mornings: cool, misty, and still (see the picture above). I grabbed my coffee, checked my email, played Township, and decided to walk to a local coffee shop for a nosh. As I ate breakfast, I realized I was soaked from the mist and full-on sweating. It wasn’t a long walk; I wasn’t winded, but living in a larger body, sweating is just part of life. I was annoyed but thought, ‘No problem, I had my trusty bandana.’ I wiped my face, cooled down, and enjoyed lox, bagel, and cream cheese. But as I walked back to the Airbnb, it happened again—drenched in mist and sweat
Cue the inner critic.
I’m sure you can imagine what ‘supportive’ things my inner critic was saying. I was blaming my body for everything. But then I checked the weather—humidity: 84%. Aha! Suddenly, the narrative in my head shifted. My body wasn’t to blame; it was just reacting (as everybody does) to the humidity. We don’t have humidity in LA, so I wasn’t cued in at all to this factor. That was just enough to break the cycle of shame and blame in my head. It still took some time to deal with the feelings that were coming up, but it was just enough of a reality check to help me externalize the problem outside of my body.
Reflection
So, what’s wrong with sweating, anyway? We all sweat—some more than others—but it’s completely normal. Yet, without intense exercise, we are not permitted to sweat in public. But it’s our body working to cool us down—a sign it’s doing its job. It’s taking care of us. It’s trying to be kind to us. So why do we feel shame around it? Let’s please start to normalize sweating.
Some Final Thoughts
It’s fascinating—and frustrating—how quickly the inner critic takes over and convinces us our bodies are the problem. This shows up for my clients, groups I run, podcast interviews for Men Unscripted, and even in my head. You’d think I’d recognize it sooner, but that’s not what happens for most of us.
We all have our inner critic, chirping falsehoods louder and louder, with no end. Telling us that we are doing it wrong, we are too much, not good enough, and never will be—repeating the same old narratives over and over, just like that smoke detector that needs a new battery, chirping with no end in sight.
Like that smoke detector that needs a new battery, we can do something about it. Yes, it’s a pain; we have to get in the car, go to Home Depot, and buy the pack of batteries that we only have one use for. Drive home, get the step ladder out, climb up, realize that even though you’re only a few feet from the floor, you can’t balance very well and contemplate what would happen if you fall, try to remember how to open the little compartment to replace the battery, put in the new battery and come back down without breaking your neck and then wait. Wait there to see if you did it right..did the chirping stop? A sigh of relief lands as we realize that the chirping has stopped. At least for now, until the battery must be changed AGAIN in a year.
It takes work to challenge the inner critic. It’s uncomfortable, and what seems logically simple to do, the reality is that it takes a good amount of effort to do it. But the effort works! We can turn down the noise our inner critic creates. Yes, it will come back, sometimes too soon, but even if it’s just for a few minutes, the peace in the silence is incredible.
Question
How does your inner critic show up? What helps you challenge those thoughts?
P.S. Tips on Managing Sweating:
Always carry something to wipe your face (bandanas are my go-to).
Dudes, consider wearing an undershirt—it helps hide visible sweat.
Neck fans? A game-changer!
I am a big fan of adding electrolytes to my water. They add flavor and if you sweat a lot, it’s great to add back in those electrolytes each and every day.