Summer’s Here—So Is the Pressure to Be Smaller

Summer is almost here. And, chances are, you’ve seen some message that it’s the season to get your body ready for the season. But this year, I’ve seen a unique and unfortunate twist:

“It’s time to disappear for a month.”

That’s the actual opening line from an Instagram ad I recently came across (screenshot below). It’s selling a “chair workout for beginners over 50,” promising that if you start this Monday, you’ll feel it in one week, see it in two, and by June—you guessed it—you’ll have a “toned body.”

Now, I’m no marketing genius here, but the phrasing they used just seems odd. Did AI write this? “Disappear for a month.” Really? Did anyone proofread? I can’t get past the word choice of “disappearing.” Let me say this plainly: Disappearing is not a healthy goal. Not physically. Not emotionally. Not socially.

Regardless of poor phrasing, the message is clear: Dudes should work on getting smaller. It’s also a clear example of how guys, especially those over 50, are being told we need to change our bodies.

The cycle is not new
➡️ Be unhappy with your body.

➡️ Commit to 20 minutes daily, which will fix the problem.

➡️ The results will not come that easily, or the plan is not sustainable.

➡️ Frustration sets in, which leads to more body shame.

➡️ Be unhappy with your body

And even though we have lived through this cycle over and over, summer hits, and suddenly the pressure ramps up—for everyone, including men. The diet industry has gotten savvier with how it markets to us. Less “weight watchers,” more “optimize your potential.” Less “beach body,” more “battle-ready.” They slap a kettlebell or a military-style font on it, and suddenly it’s “not a diet, it’s discipline.”

But it’s the same script, repackaged.

And here’s the thing: Most men aren’t used to talking about how this affects them. We don’t often say out loud how we dread taking our shirts off at the pool. Or how much we notice other guys’ bodies. Or how we quietly compare ourselves to who we were 10, 15, 20 years ago.

We’re told not to care. But we do care.

Some of us over-train. Some restrict. Some give up entirely and call it “letting go,” even though it still weighs heavily on us (pun very much intended).

When I saw that ad—targeting men over 50, no less—I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Not because older guys shouldn’t move their bodies or want to feel strong. But because the only reason offered to engage in movement was to shrink. To become less. To literally disappear.

What if we reframed it?

What if summer wasn’t about getting smaller, but about expanding into joy? Into community? Into comfort in our skin?

What if we stopped thinking of our bodies as problems to solve and started treating them as homes?

You don’t need to disappear to be worthy of summer.

You don’t need to “tighten up” for your body to be allowed at the beach.

You don’t need a six-pack to take your shirt off. You just need sunlight, maybe a towel, and a little bit of self-compassion.

So if you’re feeling the pressure right now, know: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And your value isn’t hiding under belly fat.

And if you do want to move more this summer, great. Do it because it helps you feel alive—not because an ad told you that you’re only worth something once you’re “toned.”

This summer, I’m opting out of disappearing.

Maybe you will too.

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If you’re exploring your relationship with food, movement, and body image—especially as a guy—feel free to stick around, subscribe, or drop a comment. This space is for all of us trying to unlearn the shame and reclaim our bodies on our own terms.