What I Wish Man Knew About Body Image

After doing this work for a while now, I’ve learned a few things that I wish more men knew when it comes to body image.

Through my podcast Men Unscripted, my one-on-one work with clients, and countless conversations with other providers, I’ve had the privilege of hearing men talk honestly—often for the first time—about how they feel in and about their bodies.

Each story is unique. But still, familiar themes echo again and again.

And every time, I find myself thinking: I wish more men knew they are not alone.

So here’s a list—an incomplete one—of things I wish more men knew when it comes to body image:

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• Yes, men struggle with body image, too.
  You’re not broken or weird for feeling this way. You’re human.

• Our need to be perfect and have it all under control is not helping.
  Body image issues don’t go away just because you’re disciplined.

• Making yourself smaller won’t fix your body image.
  Shrinking your body isn’t the same thing as healing your relationship with it.

• You are not alone.
  Really. I’ve heard versions of your story many times.

• Struggling with this doesn’t make you weak.
  Vulnerability and strength aren’t opposites. They often show up together.

• Your friends, brothers, fathers, and sons might feel the same way.
  And they might be waiting for someone—maybe you—to go first and talk about it.

• It’s understandable to use humor to hide your feelings.
  That’s a survival skill. But you don’t have to wear the mask all the time.

• Your worth is not defined by your muscles, your lifts, or your workout routine.
  The world will tell you otherwise. Don’t believe it.

• It’s okay not to know how to make it better.
  That’s not a failure. It’s a beginning.

• You don’t have to love your body to stop punishing it.
  Respect can come before love. Or instead of it. That’s enough.

• There’s no “before” body that will save you.
  You don’t need to return to a past version of yourself to be worthy now.

• Body image isn’t just about how you look — it’s about how you feel in the world.
  And how the world makes you feel in return.

• You were never supposed to look like the photoshopped version of yourself in your head.
  You’re real. You’re not an ad.

• You can care about how you feel in your body without buying into diet culture.

  Caring isn’t the same as conforming.

• You’re allowed to grieve the body you thought you were supposed to have.
  And you’re allowed to be curious about what it’s like to care for the one you have.

• You’re allowed to grieve aging and not being able to do the things you used to when you were younger.
  Aging is hard AF. It’s ok to struggle with it.

• Your softness isn’t a flaw.
  Physically or emotionally.

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You don’t have to carry all this alone.
You don’t have to fix it overnight.
You don’t even have to have the right words for it yet.

But if something here made you exhale a little, that’s worth paying attention to.
That’s the crack in the armor. That’s where healing begins. If you need someone to talk to, or need someone to help you navigate any of these…I’m here for you.