What If It’s Not About Your Body?
(Even if you don’t think it is)
Most guys don’t think they have “body image issues.” That phrase feels too soft, too loaded, or too far from what we think applies to us.
But here’s the truth: body image isn’t just about mirrors or selfies. It’s about how we feel in our bodies and how that feeling shapes our choices, confidence, and connection to others.
If you’ve ever caught yourself doing any of the things below, there’s a good chance body image might be playing a bigger role in your life than you realize.
If you’re struggling with this, it might actually be about body image.
You feel pressure to “look the part” as if success, confidence, and respect are tied to how your body looks.
You hide behind humor by making self-deprecating jokes before anyone else can.
Going to the gym is the only way you know how to process your feelings, and rest days feel like failure. Even when your body is asking for a break, guilt wins.
You don’t know how to show your feelings because every time you do, you feel like it’s too much or too vulnerable.
You dodge photos or only allow them if you can control the angle.
You find it easier to isolate when you’re struggling rather than reaching out to friends or family.
You dread the pool or beach because taking your shirt off feels like an invitation for judgment.
You compare your body to other guys and wonder how they make it look so effortless.
You can’t stop tracking every macro, calorie, or “clean” meal, and when you slip up, it ruins your day.
You catch yourself staring in the mirror, picking apart details no one else notices.
You get frustrated about aging and not moving or looking like you used to.
You avoid seeing people you haven’t been around in a while because your body has changed and you’re worried what they’ll think.
You’re always searching for the “perfect” workout plan that will finally make you feel confident, disciplined, or “back in shape.”
You keep thinking, “When I finally fix my body, then I’ll feel okay.”
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
You’re not vain. You’re not broken. You’re just human, living in a culture that’s constantly telling us we have to earn our worth through our bodies. We’ve been taught for years how to avoid being in our bodies, disconnecting from feelings and pain.
So let me offer you this, what if “body image” is not really the right word for us. What if we call it disconnection? What if only part of the issue is how you look, and the rest is about not being able to stay connected to ourselves, our feelings, and our bodies?
I created this space because I’ve heard these same struggles over and over in individual sessions, in my Men Unscripted podcast, and in conversations with friends.
For years, I was asked, “What resources are out there for dudes dealing with this stuff?”
Honestly, there weren’t many. So I built them.
If you’re ready to explore what’s underneath all of this — the shame, the silence, the stories about what a man’s body “should” be — here’s where you can start:
My course: Your Body Unscripted, a self-paced guide to understanding your body image and rewriting the script
The podcast: Men Unscripted, real conversations with men talking honestly about food, body, and identity
This Substack: The Unscripted Journey, reflections, humor, and reminders that you’re not alone
1:1 work with me: for men ready to go deeper, you can learn more about coaching here
If something here resonated — a line, a thought, a feeling — I’d love to hear it.
Which one of these hit home for you?
Drop a comment or share this post with someone who might need to read it. The more we talk about this stuff, the less power it holds over us.
It rarely is! (About your body)
So glad you are here. I can definitely identify with this.