Struggling to Find the Words

I’m sitting here Sunday morning and finding myself struggling with words. In a literal sense, I’m wondering what words will be important to capture here for you to read. In a more abstract sense, I’m struggling with how to find words when all that seems to show up is something else.

Writer’s Block?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about questioning despite what I’ve always thought; maybe I’m more of a writer than I thought. You can read that post below, but the basic gist was that I wanted to be curious: Is this form of self-expression something I should embrace to be more vulnerable and share more thoughts with you all?

Is what I’m experiencing right now writer’s block? I have no clue, but I’ve heard from folks who do this for a living that you should just start typing and see what happens. So here we are…just seeing what happens.

So, Just Start Typing

I’m tired. I don’t know about you all, but so far, 2025 has been 0/5 stars. I would not recommend it. With the fires, my mom losing her house, and this new administration, it’s been rough in a way that feels unlike anything else. Add that to feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, and I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?

One of the memorable things I have learned through my Body Trust community is to question the idea of burnout. Maybe it’s not burnout; instead, it’s moral injury. You can watch this video to learn more.

But what if this burnout so many of us feel is instead moral injury caused by the systems and barriers that stifle our efforts to help others and try to make the world a better place?

Another kind of tired

I also just got back from a 2-day eating disorder conference. The highlight was that I got to see some friends and colleagues that I had not seen in some time. I also made some new connections, which is valuable. The drawback is there were a lot of sessions and a lot of energy to put out. I’m here Sunday morning after two days of extroverting, and I’m tired. Let me say, though, that I am an extrovert, so really, I feel emotionally fulfilled, but yeah, I’m tired.

While at the conference, I found it so hard to answer the simple question, “How are you doing?” Do I reply with the elevator pitch of all the great things I’m working on, or do I respond emotionally and honestly? I find the reflex is to go to “I’m good. Yeah, things are going well.” It’s sort of the other version of “I’m fine.”

Whenever my clients say, “I’m fine,” I change my Zoom background to this graphic.

KC Green

I feel exactly like this dog right now. “This is fine,” but really, it’s not fine. I’m sitting inside a burning room with a cozy cup of coffee, accustomed to the heat, and telling myself, “This is fine.” Don’t you feel the same way?

So what do we do when things aren’t fine? How do we support each other when many of us aren't fine? What happens when someone says, “I’m not fine?”

Permission to not be fine

As much as I want to write about something inspiring, I just don’t have it today. Things are swirling around in my head that I know will need to come out, but today, my act of self-care is to give myself permission to let those thoughts sit and know that they will come another day. They will come, and when they do, I’ll share more about how we need to challenge the idea of “health,” especially under the guise of the MAHA movement. I want to talk about creativity and its importance in this work. I want to share thoughts on supporting folks through some of the most nuanced conversations like GLP-1s, good versus bad foods, and cravings. I want to share more about how masculinity is showing up in today’s new political climate and how harmful that is. And much, much more.

There’s stuff to talk about for sure, but not today. I will close the computer today and know that this space will still be here. I’ll be back next week with another chance to connect with you all. Until then, take good care of yourselves. Be kind to one another and yourself.