What Are We Really Afraid Of

Exploring the fear of weight gain, the stories we’ve been told, and what happens when we start to question them

Why Are We So Afraid of Gaining Weight?

It’s a fear so many of us share. The idea of gaining weight can feel like failure, a loss of control, or even a moral shortcoming. For anyone new to this space, let’s take a moment to explore this fear and its roots in diet culture—a system that uses shame and fear to convince us that weight gain is the ultimate danger.

The Diet Culture Narrative

Diet culture tells us that thinness equals health, happiness, and worthiness. This seductive promise is reinforced by everything from magazine covers to well-meaning comments about weight loss. The message is so deeply ingrained that the mere thought of gaining weight can spark shame, anxiety, and self-doubt.

But let’s pause here and ask a crucial question: Why is gaining weight so scary?

The Root of the Fear

On the surface, people fear weight gain because they assume it means they aren’t healthy. But I think our fear is much deeper than health. (Future posts will talk more about how we have everything wrong when it comes to body size and health, so stay tuned.) For many, the fear is what they believe weight gain says about them. They fear being judged, losing social acceptance, or feeling out of control. These fears aren’t personal failings; they result from a culture that equates body size with value.

But what if we challenged that belief? What if gaining weight wasn’t a failure but simply part of the natural ebb and flow of being human?

Gaining Weight Is Hard—And That’s Okay

I won’t sugarcoat it: gaining weight can be challenging from an emotional standpoint. When you finally decide to stop dieting, it often feels like you’re pushing against everything society has told you to strive for. But here’s the truth: your body isn’t a problem to solve. What if gaining weight is not about our body losing control, but rather, our body finally settling where it wants to be?

Clients tell me about starting weight loss programs as early as 10 and younger. This chronic stress of dieting has a long-term impact on our bodies. And here’s the thing: dieting has probably actually suppressed the weight our body wants to be at based on genetics. But because of how we see fatness as a failing, we do anything we can to control the size of our body.

The more we try to control our bodies, the more chaotic our relationship with food becomes. Have you ever noticed that the stricter the diet, the more you think about the foods you’re “not allowed” to eat? This cycle leaves us feeling more out of control, not less.

A Shift in Perspective

What if we stopped fearing weight gain and started questioning the narratives that taught us to fear it? What if we embraced the idea that our worth isn’t tied to our body size? Imagine the freedom of no longer battling your body but instead learning to trust it.

Yes, gaining weight might feel uncomfortable. But discomfort is part of growth, and growth doesn’t mean failure—it means you’re moving forward. What if gaining weight is part of our healing?

The Bigger Picture

This is why I started The Unscripted Journey: to challenge the myths we’ve been told about bodies and create space for a new story. One where the scale doesn’t dictate your value and your relationship with food and yourself isn’t a constant battle.

If you’re new here, welcome. And if you’ve been here a while, thank you for being part of this conversation. Let’s keep questioning, learning, and growing—together.